SSC v. RACK

Hello my lovely fellow kinksters and curious souls! This week I am continuing on the theme of consent and personal needs, comforts, and limits. If you have read some of my previous posts, you might have seen mention of Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC). Just a quick recap, SSC is meant to provide guidelines and reminders to have a good time while being careful and within the boundaries of the limits, desires, and overall consent of everyone involved. I have an entire post on consent if you wish to see more on that here. As for today, I want to discuss SSC more but also the concept of (RACK). I took a little while writing this because I wanted to be as thorough and accurate as possible. I’ll be linking to some resources at the bottom for additional reading and research.

So, to begin let me break these two concepts down a bit. I’ll start with SSC. This concept is commonly heard and used in the kink community because of how it neatly ties together the main guidelines many people recommend to avoid any true injury, be it physical or mental. Kink can involve pain and other activities that can be intense, perhaps even lead to an injury by accident so SSC is not to say that you can never get hurt just that it is not the intention and planned in a way to avoid risking injury. Abiding by SSC just means that play is done in a way that typically shouldn’t be too crazy or high risk. Looking at SSC word for word, you would have play that (S) does not expose you to harm or danger, (S) sound of mind and body, and (C) based on mutual consent. That leads me to the first contrast with RACK: you are not anticipating any potentially severe injuries or damage when playing within the boundaries of SSC.

So, what are the boundaries of SSC? When does it become RACK territory? Those can both be difficult questions because they can be open to interpretation. Certain types of play are commonly seen as being in RACK territory especially with edge play like knife play, breath play, artistic cutting, and so on. These all share the inherent potential for harm, whether it be short term, long term, or permanent. In these circumstances, you could say you cross the boundary of SSC into RACK because the question of whether an injury can occur switches to when will it occur. Because of the danger of edge play, many people are vigilant and will not do something unless there is a lot of trust since you could very well be putting your life in someone else’s hands. People playing this way may have first aid kits, CPR training, and other possible tools at their disposal in case something goes wrong. For play where a mistake or an underlying, unseen problem can lead to death, it may also be considered consent to being prepared to take action and responsibility at a moment’s notice whether that is doing something like CPR or calling an ambulance without hesitation. It’s also acknowledging the possibility that your lives can be forever changed, sometimes even after the scene is over either because of the aforementioned invisible problem like a blood clot that forms during certain types of breath play. With RACK, you are aware of the risks that you and your play partner(s) are taking while taking steps to prevent any complications and being prepared in case something goes wrong whether it’s just having the right tools like butterfly bandages in case of knife play gone wrong or being ready to call for help. However, not all of RACK revolves around the physical risks.

Remember how SSC is both safe and sane? RACK can also be used for play that may not seem inherently dangerous. This goes back to the idea that the boundaries between SSC and RACK are open to interpretation but so is edge play. Some people may consider one form of play to be edge play while others may not, such as confinement. Sane comes into play when taking into account your mental health and how you react to certain things. So, in the example of humiliation some people may consider that edge play because it toes the line of sanity for them because of the potential for emotional and mental harm it can do, especially with the wrong person or just the wrong words. Along more physical lines, some may hold the same view towards bondage because of the inability to escape and the vulnerability it gives. In the end, any and all play will involve trust and consent in order to stay within a person’s limits. Those limits as well as the danger will determine what kind of consent it will be.

Now, as a final bit of this topic, I want to stress the importance of a few things. First, aftercare. Aftercare is important no matter the play because it makes sure that everyone involved is brought back down from the scene safely and can process what has happened. Everyone does aftercare differently but whether it’s just a quick check in at the end, wrapping them in a blanket as their body regulates itself, or keeping in touch for a couple of days, it will provide that space for sanity and trust. The other is preparation and knowledge, whether doing SSC or RACK. Knowing what you are doing is important and can even be vital to staying healthy no matter what you are doing. With SSC, having that knowledge and practice will help keep the risk of harm as low as possible so that play is safe such as knowing proper ties with bondage to avoid nerve damage and avoiding certain areas with flogging to prevent hitting the kidneys. With RACK, it may be taking on training and even more practice so that the risks that are already there are either addressed or you know how to react in case something goes wrong. Lastly, have fun! Get to know your not only your kinks, but your limits too so that you can go forth along your journey enjoying yourself and the many experiences you can have! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, play safe so that you can continue to enjoy your kinky side as much as you’d like! So, until the next time, take care of yourself and your play partners, too, and never stop learning or striving to do your kink better so you can reap all of the pleasure!

Love always,

Miss Lunissa

Here are a few links that you may also find useful for additional views as well as examples, tips, and the like:

Short but good review as well as links to other definitions – http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Category:Edge_Play

This one goes more into the definitions behind each of component of SSC vs RACK – http://withinreality.com/wp/rack-vs-ssc/

Here, they touch on it but have links to discuss SSC and RACK in more detail on there own – https://www.lifehacker.com.au/2014/06/learn-the-ssc-and-rack-mantras-for-safer-risk-conscious-kinky-sex/

This one is longer but also includes some interesting history and dives deeper into the topic – https://historyofthedominatrix.com/blogs/blog/the-history-bdsm-consent-ssc-vs-rack

If anyone would like to suggest more sites or anything for the post itself, along with any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out!

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It’s been a while! Also, an anal-ogy

Hello again everyone! My, how the time has flown by! Thankfully, things should be calming down now a bit more so I should be more regular in posting. Also, hope you enjoyed that subtle (perhaps not so subtle) pun in the title this week!

Now, if there is one thing I am taking away from all of this self care and taking time to right myself on my own personal journey is to not rush! You would think that would be obvious, but whether vanilla or kink it is easy to get swept up in things. In terms of kink, I learned the hard way that there most definitely is such a thing as going too fast even if you’re all amped up and ready to take it all on! It’s like anal. And no, I did not learn my lesson from anal though it did help make things click into place.

So, a weird analogy but it works in a way. It’s kinky and pleasurable and fun and amazing and… potentially painful and damaging if you don’t know what you’re doing or don’t take your time. You don’t want to rush into it your first time even though you’re excited or you’re going to end up with some pain and or regrets. Take it slow. Just dip your finger in, get a feel for the experience and see where you’re at and how it suits you. Not your thing? Ok, good. Onto a plug. Ready for more? Don’t pull out the gigantic black dildo just yet! You know the one. Work your way up the path of pleasure and bliss!

It’s all a journey and there is bound to be some uncertainty and discomfort but there should never be any true pain. Exploring kink can lead to chasing physical, emotional, mental pains and perhaps even permanent reminders because it led to pleasure or desire through it (floggers and needles and clamps, oh my!); it shouldn’t lead to debilitating, unwanted pain because the goal, after all, is ultimately pleasure of some sort. First few times exploring will take some time to warm up and be able to fully enjoy the experience, whether that be trying something new or building up to something like a more intense flogging or whipping or something more edgy. Some days it may feel more uncomfortable than usual and that is perfectly fine! Listen to your body, mind, heart, and soul because kink can go deep and we are human with needs constantly changing, adapting, surprising. Perhaps you surprise yourself by being ready for something and it feels really, really good! Don’t go rushing into other, bigger, better things! And if you do? Remember, there shouldn’t be pain. Take a break and a breather and lube up your experience perhaps with more conversations, research, practice, guidance, whatever it may be. Never hesitate to have more than you need. There’s no such thing as too much. On that note, invest in good quality lube. There’s a lot of people who will try to push or mislead you and the same goes for untrustworthy sources. Be discerning and learn all you can and want. There’s not really any rush in the journey of a lifetime in kink.

That’s another part of rushing – missing the signs or ignoring them. Just like anal, our bodies will tell us what we need. Ignore the pain and keep pushing through? You can cause short term, long term, or even permanent damage. With some kinks, it can even cause death and then how would you have all of that fun and pleasure? It’s not a competition. You don’t have to be the kinkiest person in the world that can take all the things just like you don’t have to take the biggest object up your butt. Unless you’re into that sort of thing in which case by all means enjoy you gigantic dildo of kink! But it’s still your decision, your experience, your body, your soul. Listen to yourself. Never quiet your inner voice just to please others or prove yourself or any other such thing. Kink is done because you want it, not because it’s for someone else even if you are on your knees under someone’s will. You still made that choice to be there and give that gift. Never forget that or why you’re doing it (hint: because your kinky soul demands it!)

One last bit to take away from all of this is to also go at the pace of the slowest partner!! I can’t stress this enough. Remember how I said to take it slow and warm up rather than rush and ruin the pleasure? Afford others the same please. It will be worth it, I can nearly guarantee it! Kink can expose our minds and bodies to some risky things that can alter us physically, mentally, and spiritually. Rushing and pushing through can open us up to some rather big consequences, be it our own, others, or on behalf of each other. Those consequences carry a heavy burden that can’t always be lessened if it’s severe enough. Again, the ultimate goal of exploring these dark spaces of our minds is to have fun and find pleasure. Do not hesitate to explore your inner dark desires, just don’t go chasing them in a frenzy when the rush has unable to think straight and running into a tree, or worse, off a cliff or worse causing someone else to do so. Again, what fun would there be had if you or your play partner simply cannot continue as much as it might pain you two. Or three, four, etc. The more the merrier but also more important to be careful and aware of each others needs, wellbeing. It’s all about having fun with leather and floggers and power dynamics and tickling and humiliation and blood and little space and so many, many other personal interests and kinks. Because that’s what makes us unique and powerful and happy.

So until the next time, have fun and dare to explore your inner darkness for your pleasure! Just remember to keep your self safe and at your own pace so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else.

Love always,

Miss Lunissa

Taking A Breather

Hello again! I apologize for a delay in my latest post! I’ve been trying to upload every weekend but life has gotten interesting between some not so great events regarding consent and then getting sick! Because of this, though, I want to get back on track with some attention to self-care.

It can be so, so easy to let yourself get swept up in all the adrenaline and joy and pleasure as you go along your journey whether you are new or are decades in! There could be the rush of finding a new play partner or discovering a new kink or expanding your limits or so much more that can happen at any time and can be something manageable in excitement or all the way to “oh my gosh all the things! I need this now!!”. However, it’s always important to remain aware of your limits and also realize that sometimes those limits can be a bit different such as needing more or less intensity due to being emotionally charged as well as feeling that adrenaline high can make you start to ignore your body’s cues to slow down or stop (especially if you enter sub space) while stress and anxiety can make lower your pain tolerance. Safety is important both in the physical and mental sense!

There could also be some intense times in your relationships with others, your kinks, or even yourself both within and outside of the kink world. It’s okay if you need a break from kink. It’s okay if you need to let your play partner that you need something different or more after care or just some time to enjoy the bond in a more calm manner. No matter what it is, it is always important to stay in tune with what you need mentally, emotionally, and physically so that you can keep things safe and sane for yourself.

A sexual journey is lifelong and the journey into kink will be full of opportunities and surprises; however, that path is yours to take and there is never any need to rush into especially if it means you will get hurt in some way. After all, it’s not fun having to take a break to tend to an injury or even a mental wound. That is not to say that it won’t happen. It’s a messy, exhilarating, freeing, relieving experience and accidents happen, life happens but prioritizing your needs will ensure you are in the right mind to play safe and that you’re not straining your body into a longer term or permanent injury and that you are able to give your best self to your play partner! For Dominants, you will be in the right state of mind to dominate and create a pleasurable scene without breaking your dear submissive. For submissives, you will be taking care of His or Her body to do with as They will. For kinksters of all kinds, you will be ready for whatever adventure you want to have and whatever fun your play partners want to throw at you next! So, go out and have fun! Explore! Experiment! Grow! But also remember to take care of yourself so you can enjoy this beautiful journey into the tantalizing darkness of kink so that you can give it your all during those moments and be able to continue enjoying it as much and as often as you like! This is part of the Safe and Sane of the Consensual games we play.

Have fun and until next time,

Miss Lunissa

Hello & Welcome!

Featured

A big welcome to any and all that happen across this blog! First off, I want to add this just to be clear: this blog will cover adult themes, so please be aware of that both if you cannot handle it or are under the age of 18!! While I think there are threads within some of my posts that are important for everyone to know no matter their age or sensibilities (such as the importance of consent and self care), the world of kink and BDSM requires a maturity and self awareness as well as the realization that it is important to be of age and be a consenting adult in these situations because some things can enter a gray legal area in your own journey. This is not to discourage anyone from ever visiting again, however, once you are of age or feel more equipped to look into whether this kind of journey is right for you. After all, wonderful things can happen in the dark (and light, too, but you get my drift!).

If you are new to the kink community, welcome my fellow brave and kinky soul and may your journey be as rich and intoxicating as you hope! If you are more experienced, a merry welcome and a hope that you may find something useful either in insight, something for thought, or any other way of being of use! With all the different variety, there is always something new to learn or explore and I hope to help in some way with that journey. My hope in creating this blog is to have a space in which to share my experiences, research, and my own overall journey in immersing myself into the exhilarating world of kink to help others ranging all the way from those overwhelmed to those needing to take a step back amidst the rush of it all to those perhaps just curious and passing by.

To start, a bit more about myself. In the world of kink that I have found myself entering, I occasionally go by Lunissa or Luna for short. I am a switch that is exploring a deeper submission, petplay, little relationships, some edge play, and a bit of everything else while I see what catches my eye and where my passions and limits lie. I am also in an open relationship with my soon to be husband, supporting one another with this foray into the beautiful darkness of our not so vanilla selves. The interest has been there for quite a while but it wasn’t until much more recently that I started venturing out of my own walls, both physically and mentally, further into the community. It is at once a frightening and thrilling experience to say the least. I am part of a local dungeon through which I hope to gain more insight to be able to keep passing on knowledge and help others find their way to fully exploring their passions and their limits. I have found the general kink community to be very welcoming, open, and understanding with a tendency to watch out for one another especially against those trying to use the community as a cover for less favorable goals, desires, and personalities. I hope to reflect these helpful, warm characteristics, as well, so please always feel free to reach out whether it be for questions, talking something out to process, sharing something exciting about your own journey (because it can be tricky sometimes to find someone else to confide in and we all know that there is so much that should be free to be shouted from the rooftops!), or anything else you may need.

Throughout this blog, I’ll be doing my best to talk about different kinks, vocabulary, practices, and more as I learn about them. If you or someone you know would like to add something, let me know! There is as many universal understandings in kink as there are personal, unique perspectives it seems so it goes without saying that this will be mostly from my perspective and what I get from attending seminars, munches, and more. I look forward to seeing where my path leads and providing some support however and when our paths cross!

Love always,

Miss Lunissa

P.S. a big thank you to Creativity103.com for the beautiful images they share and especially for the background image I have chosen!

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/